Thumpety-Thump-Thump...

Friday, Nana came over with a box of odds and ends... one of those odds was a ham! I can't even remember the last time we even had ham. She was happy to see the place was decorated. So I'm glad she got a chance to see it, since she was the one who suggested to Mom that I do it.

I know I said I'd watch two or more Christmas movies, but I only watched one movie. The Nativity Story (2006). I don't think I've seen previous versions, but I did enjoy this one. Actually, I think I liked it more than I thought I would, and I'll probably watch it every year they decide to air it. I also think I should have snagged it, when I saw it at the store on Sunday.

Saturday, I woke up half an hour earlier than my alarm... leaving my "Vampire Diaries" (2009) dream cut short. Now I'll never know what happened to Elena and Stefan. Ah well... Waking early gave me extra time to be productive before my plans with Issi. :)

Issi Claus came with gifts for all. :) Assorted coffees for the coffee addict in the house, Mom. And while she felt bad for lack of gift to return, she loved the gift. I believe she said she was anxious to try one the next day, but I wasn't there to see if she did or not. :P And I got an awesome Mickey jacket (that I wore that night and the next day :D ) and a cute Mickey purse. I imagine both will get lots of use. :D And her parents gave me a beautiful tapestry throw, which I am still debating on hanging or using. Either way I'll have to keep it out of reach of furry bratlings. Maybe I'll take a pic of the jacket and bag later, but I found this pic of the image on the throw online. Isn't it pretty? And with the woven tapestry texture it looks even lovelier.

After a long drive, we finally made it to Disneyland! Two things... Wow, was it packed! And... OMG! They let all the looneis out or something! People showed up in one piece pajamas... the kind with the feetsies! But the majority of the wierdos showed up in what looked like a box of crayons threw up all over their clothes along with arms covered in bead necklaces. It was crazy! Still as busy as it was, we were able to make it onto It's a Small World.  I only had enough sense to take a couple pics inside the ride, and it was with my cell phone camera instead of the digital camera I had in my purse. :P Unforntunately, only this one came out. But before we left, we did stop to take pics of the lit up Small World and Castle. Dunno how good they turned out, but on the camera they looked beautiful. :P

While we were only there briefly, I was able to get my holiday Disneyland fix. :D Besides it being way too packed to stay and play, we had to go and fight traffic to get to a concert! Yep, yep... We went to the tobyMac's Winter Wonder Slam Concert. :D So, I got to listen to B. Reith, Stephanie Smith, RelientK, and TobyMac. They played some of their songs, covers to some mainstream songs, and some holiday songs. All in all it was good music and great fun! I even bought a CD. :D I got Stephanie Smith's CD. I may have to borrow CDs from Issi, as she got one from each of the artists. :P Anywho, we grabbed a quick bite before heading back home. It was a fantastic night.

Sunday, I made Dad a Bob Rivers CD while I got ready to go play with him. We went to eat and then braved Wal-Mart...on a weekend....before Christmas. It was a mad house, but I was able to get most of what was on my supply/grocery list. And after we survived that trip, we went back to Dad's house to watch movies. :) Since I missed the TV airing of Frosty the Snowman (1969 TV), we watched it on his holiday classics collection DVD. I don't think I'll ever be too old for that one. :D And we also watched Igor (2008), which was just a good, funny movie. :)

We took the scenic route home... :D And the scene was all about Christmas lights! We drove up and down streets looking at lovely displays. :D There was ALOT of work put into some of these. And I'd HATE to see their electric bills. :P But I am so glad we got to see them. And before going home, we picked up some Pioneer Chicken. Yummy! :)

Soooo.... Since I didn't have time to watch a whole lot of my Christmas movies, I made up for it yesterday (Monday). :P I watched ALOT of movies.. Well, alot for one day, anyway. :P Let's see, I watched Unlikely Angel (1996 TV) on TV. I finished watching Crazy for Christmas (2005 TV), which I'd actually started Friday night before bed. I watched A Christmas Carol (1984 TV) with George C. Scott, one of many versions I have. And finally, after midnight, I watched Christmas in Canaan (2009 TV).

There's more I was gonna babble about, like Sarah's getting Married! o.0 But I must get to bed for a "nap". Got stuffs to do before Target Tuesday. And it is already way past the time I thought I'd be asleep. :P Oops. :P

Dreaming....

Last night, I dreamt of my brother. It was weird, because it was him but not exactly. He was healthier looking, more like he was when five or more years ago. We were looking at pictures of he and I, which was odd for three reasons... A- He was actually IN the pictures. B - He was smiling or laughing and generally happy in the pictures, as he was pretty much throughout the dream. And C- He was wearing color in most of the shots! We were at Nana's house, and he was sitting in the dining room socializing rather than hiding in some room with music or the TV. The whole thing was so strange. But in the dream, he and I talked and laughed like we used to every now and then. But he seemed happier. At some point, we were going to an amusement park, Disneyland I think. Which was also unlike Josh, since after working there he didn't like going there or always resisted the idea.

Anywho.... I finished my book today and started the latest book in the series. Hopefully, this one won't take me as long to get through. Or at least, hopefully, I finish it before the new one comes out and Mom reads it. Ah, so many books to read...

I watched the Christmas episode of "Accidently on Purpose" (2009) yesterday. I started like a bunch of Christmas movies, but I'd get so far and get bored with them. :P Cleared alot of tapes that way... Today I watched/listened to On the 2nd Day of Christmas (1997 TV). I think I've watched this movie every year they've aired it. :P And it's not even one of my favorites! Heck, I haven't even watched my favorites yet! I've yet to see any of my DVD/VHS holiday movies. :P Gonna have to start watching two holiday movies a day in order to see everything by the end of Christmas day!

The Halls Are Decked! :D

Come on in! I didn't put up lights, as there isn't enough to be worth it and we lack a ladder and I don't really know HOW to hang them properly. :P So there's not much to look at outside. :P

Poor lil angel lost her fingers in one move or another. I'm not really sure why I took a pic with just the angel... I mean you can't even tell it's on a surface just big enough for that one item. :P Yeah, the architecture of the entryway is all weird. But the  I'm not sure why I took half of these pics... or why I'm putting up every single one of them. :P

Alas, no mistletoe... Just this pretty lil thing. Actually, I don't think we've ever had real mistletoe.

This is hung outside my bedroom, so I get a smile when I go to bed. I love Peanut. :D He's just so cute.

Even my computer got decorated! :P And I shake that lil snow globe just about everyday. :P

Anywho... That's my home right now. :) It's actually pretty tame. In Christmas' past, I used to hang those strings of tinsel ALL over the place. I mean if it wasn't moving (and sometimes if it was, Oreo) I'd hang the shiny stuff on it! :P And of course, there's no tree again this year. Mostly because I don't know where to put a tree here. Well, we could get a smaller tree and put it on one of the end tables. But meh, I don't feel like testing lights again this year. I tested ALL my lights last year. Hung some on the window, then rarely remembered to turn the dumb things on. :P I think I'll skip the hassle. I just asked Dad to take me to a tree lot so I can just smell that lovely tree smell at least once this year. :P

Oh! I took a pic of the masks. They coulda been put up a bit better, but oh well. They look nice enough and at least they're up. :P  As I cheated and used a poor pic to guide the hanging process, I thought I should take a better pic for the next move. This way, I can see it better and, hopefully, remember NOT to clump the bottom masks too much. Hopefully....

I've kept up with a Christmas movie a day thing. :) Sunday, at my Dad's house, among other movies, I watched Four Christmases (2008). Monday, I watched most of Holiday Switch (2007 TV), most cuz cable cut out for a minute or two....grr.... And today, I listen/watched The Family Holiday (2007 TV). And I may watch something else tonight...maybe... Unless I go to bed early....ish.

Today was Target Tuesday. I saw a book we borrowed from our cousin. We don't usually buy hardbacks, as they're more expensive. But she couldn't wait to read it, so she bought it. When she finished, she let us borrow it. Anywho, they have the paperback there, and I felt silly for wanting it, even though we have a copy we can read at home. Like it was silly just to want it, just to have a copy of my own. I mean I haven't even finished reading the previous book enough to get to that newest book! Maybe it's cuz I just love getting books?

Anywho.... I'm hungry again... And I'm dying to see how the dancers of So You Think You Can Dance are doing. Off I go. :)

Fa la la la la!

Soooo.... The week didn't go exactly as planned. Didn't watch stuff when I said I was gonna.. Didn't do stuff on the schedule I'd wanted. But everything eventually got taken care of. :)

Holiday movies watched:

Tuesday
I put on Christmas in Connecticut (1992 TV), to go to bed with noise. I like the classic version. But like a train wreck, I kept watching this awful version until I fell asleep. AND then proceded to finish watching it when I woke up. As it was Target Tuesday, I didn't watch anything else after the shopping fun, KFC eating, visiting, and net stuff.

Wednesday
While writing out Christmas cards, I watched three movies: A Boyfriend for Christmas (2004 TV), Undercover Christmas (2003 TV), and Mrs. Miracle (2009 TV). And because I was so into the movies it took me allllll night to finish those few cards. :P

Thursday
I went to sleep that morning to some HGTV special on Disney World's decorations. Holy cow! There's SO much there. They have people working on making or maintaining Christmas decorations ALL year long. I want THAT job! Anywho... When I woke up, I watched The Ultimate Gift (2006). That was a good movie... Spent the afternoon/evening hanging masks, the evening cleaning, and the night decorating. Some time during the decorating, I watched Christmas in Connecticut (1945). :) Okay, I mostly just listened while I was busy working. But still I enjoyed it MUCH better than that awful remake.

Friday
Dad came over and we had dinner and hung out for a while. :) After he left, I was too scatterbrained to focus on any movies. I tried watching Toys (1992). Okay not EXACTLY a Christmas movie, but I like it and the holiday song at the beginning.

Saturday (today even though it's past midnight cuz I keep stop starting this)
Uh... Yeah... Scatterbrain-ness continued. I started Toys over this morning. Play/paused ALL day long and only just finished it at like 1:20am (Sunday). :P Between one of those breaks I watched Holiday Affair (1996 TV). Oddly enough, I like this remake. Some work, some don't, I guess. :P I recorded Holiday Switch (2007 TV) for tomorrow or whenever.

Let's see, I think that covers most everything... Well there was some other unpleasantness, but nothing to get upset over again by retelling the story. I'm over it now. :P And well Mom's not overly happy I decorated.... But she's going to be depressed either way, so I'm not going to suffer. I'll put up pics later. Oh, was worried my digital camera mighta been broken for good. Thankfully it started behaving again. Whew.

Anywho.... Supposedly, Mom and I are going to attempt our supply run to Wal-mart again tomorrow (it was raining too hard this morning), and she wants to leave at 7am... Which means at the latest a 630am wake up for me... and I still have dishes to wash and litter to tidy and the whole bedtime routine..... Eeeps! It's almost 2am! Toodles doodles!

Toto, where are we?

Well the rain was short lived. Bummer. Woke up this afternoon to crazy winds. Glad I don't have to go outside today. The wind's been banging against this old lil house all afternoon and evening. It sounds so loud, like one good blow will knock the house over or break the windows. It's crazy. But me being me, I still like it. Y'know, cuz I'm safe inside. :P I might not like it as much if I were out and about. So I hope it's tamer weather tomorrow.

Haven't talked to Mom yet about how she'll feel about me decorating, well now that Nana's suggested it. Which is fine, cuz I still need to do pre decorating cleaning. But by this weekend I hope to have a Christmassy house. :) I'll TRY to keep it to a minimum, but no promises.

Looks like everyone had an unhappy morning for one reason or another. Dad with work stuff. Nana went to the hospital (she got dizzy and worried, but it was nothing but a simple inflamation in her ears. whew.). For some reason, customers were especially grumpy for Mom, but then that could have been her perspective as a lack of sleep victim. And me.. Well I got attacked on my game! Lost land and couldn't retal as we were surrendering. Okay, so my morning wasn't as bad as everyone else's. :P

I kinda watched/listend to Unaccompanied Minors (2006) while checking my net stuff. Wasn't plannning on it, but it was on for noise. Later tonight I'll be watching A Boyfriend for Christmas (2004 TV) and possibly Undercover Christmas (2003 TV) while finally filling out Christmas cards. :)

Tis the Season...Sorta

Christmas movies watched this weekend:

Friday

• The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
• Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

Saturday

• Holiday Affair (1949)
• Recipe for a Perfect Christmas (2005 TV)

Sunday

• A Dog Named Christmas (2009 TV)
• Holiday in Handcuffs (2008 TV)

Annnnnddd.... I recorded others, which I'll watch on days when there's no holiday movie or special I care to watch.

Friday and Saturday, I kinda just half watched the movies while trying to keep up with reading the new posts at an RP forum of mine. I'm not sure why, but while I can read a book for hours, it takes me forever to read text on the computer. I hate holding my RP partners up, but what can ya do. Between all the reading and movie watching and attempting to do Christmas cards, I didn't have the creative energy to write a post myself. Ah well...

Spent Sunday with Dad, so those movies were watched at his place while drinking some eggnog (the non-alchol kind :P ). Handcuffs I'd seen before, but it's still funny to watch. The Dog Named Christmas was a good movie that touches the heart and brought a smile to my face. The rain was nice enough to wait til Dad and I finished all of our stops through out the day. Which is good, I didn't want to have to wear my noisy rain jacket.

On the way home, we passed quite a few houses with Christmas lights. Dad said, closer to Christmas, we can take scenic routes to find more festive neighborhoods. :D I can't wait. Even this very street, which had few homes lit up last year, has quite a few lit up this year. It's nice to see.

Sunday was a good day. Had a good breakfast at a charming little restaurant. Ran some errands and goofed around. Watched those two movies. More errands, which included a hilarious moment at the gas station (see, Dad, I'm not telling.... Well not blogging it anyway. Told Mom. :P). Then came home. So yesterday was a good day. :) Thank you, Daddy!

After Dad left, Mom told me Nana asked if I was putting up Christmas lights. I guess she told Mom that maybe I should decorate a little. I'm not real sure why, whether it's because she wants to see it or because she thinks I/Mom/we need it. So Mom told me and said she was leaving it up to me. So I dunno. I wanted to for me. For me it's extra sad without my inner Christmas elf locked in. Ah! Possibly the reason why I couldn't fill out cards on Saturday.

Anywho, dishes to wash and a nap to take.

When Christmas Comes to Town....

I watched (well mostly watched) The Polar Express (2004) today. It's a beautiful little movie for being a cartoon. The elves are a bit on the creepy side though. Seriously.. When one of the elves is trying to get one of the kids to give back the present so they can put it in the big bag of presents, he says, "trust me" in a very creepy, might be a pedo, kind of way.

Thanks to it getting darker so early, even with driving around for quickie errands, I get to see more and more Christmas lights. Some good.. Some bad... but almost all of the houses lit up put a smile on my face.

I started thinking about the silly holiday newspapers I made a couple years ago. They were fun to make, and I'm debating on making a few issues again. :P We'll see....

Bumbles Bounce!

Tonight's holiday movie: Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964 TV). Gotta love the classics. :)

Yukon Cornelius: This fog's as thick as peanut butter!
Hermey: You mean pea soup.
Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!

Anywho.. I was gonna put up a pic of the squirrel from yesterday's Target Tuesday adventure, but it was too dark and the cell phone camera didn't take a good enough pic. Ah well. The lil bugger was cute too. Brave lil bugger. It was sitting in the middle of the alley we were trying to drive down. Dad was driving slow so as not to spook it, but the bugger was watching us rolling towards him. :P Next time, I'll bring my actual digital camera.

Last night's movie was cute. Two families, now blended through the parents marriage, were both struggling to find a way to celebrate Christmas, each one having very different traditions they didn't want to let go of. I suppose we were lucky. We never really had that problem. I mean, yeah, at one point both my parents remarried, but our Christmases didn't change that much. But then I don't recall ever having set-in-stone traditions. Well, other than Mom exhausting herself for three days to bake her special variety of holiday cookies, enough to feed an army! I kinda miss that, but I SO don't miss the kitchen clean up. Mom and Josh baked.... I was left to clean since I tended to burn or screw up the recipes. :P Yeah, the only thing I ever made successfully during the holidays was fudge. Three or four ingredients mixed in one bowl and cooled in the fridge....not exactly rocket science. :P Although there was that one year I made truffles for no reason. Nummy...

Santa?

Last night, I had a number of odd dreams. The last ones were the typical strange and cool dreams I always have. (I love my Doctor Who dreams. :) ) But those weren't the ones that stood out the most this time.

I don't think I ever believed in Santa Claus, not even as a child. When I was young, my parents took us to church and so we weren't raised to believe in him. I like him well enough in Christmas movies, but then I also like movies with superheroes and elves and unicorns. So having a dream with him in it was a bit weird.

I dreamt Santa showed up at my house for a visit, dressed in normal clothes. I think he asked about the lack of decorations or maybe just noticed it, because when he returned, he had a bundle of Christmas lights. Santa, himself, proceded to put up the lights! He asked if I had any more hooks and I started going through the Christmas boxes.

At some point Mrs. Clause and Mom were there, Mrs. Claus beaming over her husband's work and Mom unsure whether she wanted this or not. Soon enough we were all taking part in the decorating.

Sadly, I woke before we went outside to see the lights, but from what I could see through the door, they looked amazing.

I'm not sure why Santa and Mrs. Claus were there. I know I was thinking about Christmas lights and wanting to see some nice displays. I myself haven't bothered to do nice light hanging in ages (they always fall or I give up). And I probably had decorating on my mind because I usually start on the first week of December if not the 1st. But Sants? Um, okay? It was a nice dream anyway.

I've decided I'm going to watch at least one Christmas movie or special everyday. I have several on DVD, VHS, and recorded tapes already. And there's always plenty to choose from on TV all month long. Today I'm going to record Our First Christmas (2008 TV), since it's on soon and I will be out on my usual Target Tuesday adventure! :)

On a completely unrelated note, I've lost a total of eight pounds since that first weekend I got sick. Not bad considering I wasn't trying. It's the amazing Cold and Flu diet, yay. :P

They Make Me Smile

I love old movies. I used to watch AMC (American Movie Classics cable channel) and TCM (Turner Classic Movies cable channel) whenever there was nothing on TV. And now and then, I would end up watching these wonderful gems, like Bachelor Mother (1939) or Bringing Up Baby (1938). They're just so cute and fun to watch.

I was checking the TV guide for any Christmas movies that might be on and it looks like The Shop Around the Corner (1940) is on tonight. :) I saw the Judy Garland musical remake first.. Well actually I saw the Tom Hanks' You've Got Mail first. But I like Jimmy Stewart in the Shop better. :)

Anywho, before I go on and on about other old movies I like, I'm going to finish watching Bachelor Mother on YouTube. :P

Trekkin....

Mom and I watched the new Star Trek movie tonight. I saw it with Dad last weekend, but I wanted to see it again. :D As you may have guessed, I really enjoyed it. I was SO sad when I thought the franchise might be dead....stupid Enterprise series... And after looking something up on IMDb, it looks like there may be a sequel in the works too! YAY! Whether they keep making a bunch of films on the one crew or branch out, I care not. So long as they just keep making Trek films and or shows, I'll be a happy camper.

Man, I remember watching the original series as a little kid. I can't actually watch it now. It's just too weird to watch the funny acting in those horrible sets. :P But at like 10 I was hooked on the Next Gen. series. Some of their earlier episodes are funny to watch too. :P After seeing all the improvements that film and TV's made it's just silly to see the old old school stuff. Hehe... Doesn't mean I wouldn't want to collect it all some day. Voyager is still my favorite series.

After seeing the new movie, I think I'll have myself a Trek marathon. I've never seen ALL the Trek movies. Shocking, I know. But now that I own 'em, I will have to watch them. :) And I do have chunks of the Next Gen. series on tapes back when the only way to collect TV series' was through Columbia House. And I have seasons 1 and 2 of Voyager. So yeah. I could have myself a really good week long marathon, if I wanted. Maybe I'll save it for Mom's next four day weekend. Help distract her from the holiday.

I love this song.... :P This isn't the official video but the other ones I didn't care for as much... So enjoy the giggle. :D

Tra la

I woke up REALLY early this morning.. 430am.... Okay, I slept for 12 hours before that due to not sleeping for two nights (days) in a row. Well no, I did have a 2-3 hour nap on Wednesday. And then I finally crashed at like 330-4pm yesterday, after Mom told me for the third or fourth time to go to bed. :P

It's weird that I woke up right at 430 though. That's the time I needed to be up if I wanted to call Dad for his wake up call. I didn't even set an alarm for it. :) I had lots of weird dreams. Dreams I wished I'd remembered to write down. I think alot of my dreams would make cool stories if I'd only remember to write them down. Ah well.

After talking to Dad for a bit, I got up and did the usual morning routine. Then I got all productive. It was too early to hop in the shower (cuz then I'd come out to the cold and I'm still getting over being sick and I didn't wanna risk it. :P). So instead, I cleaned the kitchen. Fed the kids. Filled water bottles for the freezer. Cleaned the bathroom. Tidied the living room and put away stuff. Cleaned the dining table. Folded laundry.

I took a break after all that... Got online. Mom was still asleep, so I didn't want to mess up the bathroom til she got a chance to see it clean. Did my usual net stuff while talking to Steven for a couple hours. :P

Then finally took a shower and got productive again. Folded the stuff from the dryer. Started more laundry. Changed the sheets on my bed. Tidied up my room, including some minor dusting. Put away stuff in my room, cuz like I had tapes ALL over the place. Then I FINALLY stopped being lazy about making myself some food.

Yep, yep, yep.. Been a productive day. Earlier I was thinking. This all was what I'd call half-assed cleaning compared to what I usually do before decorating for Christmas. And the lazy part of me was pushing me off the indecisive fence I'm on about it. But after the lil convo I just had with Mom, the decisions been made for me. I won't be decorating this year. Le sigh.

Soooo.... I'm going to see if I can't send some Christmas cards. I'm not going to go all crazy and send them to every aunt, uncle, and cousin I have an address for...just the people I talk to or I'm thinking about. I'll be stealing from the stamp fund, but oh well.

I wish I had the extra to get people gifts. Not everyone. I've never been that crazy. But you know those closest to you. As is, the only one to get a gift of any kind is my friend up north. And that's only because I bought my two best friends a non-occassion gift and then I didn't get a chance to see her when she visited this past summer.

Yesterday was just another day for us. Nana apparently made Pecan Pies even though she wasn't going to do anything for Thanksgiving. I guess since my Unclde David and fam. were supposed to come up and visit yesterday, she felt she HAD to make them. She made one for them and one for us, but Mom was too sleepy to go pick it up. And Nana was too bummed that David cancelled or postponed the visit til today so she ddn't want to drop it off. If my uncle DID make it to her house today, I imagine she'll have him drop it off for her on his way home. As it's almost 330pm and it's a 2 hour drive for him to go home, I figure we'll find out if he came soon enough.

Mmmmm.... This started out positive... Maybe I should have talked to Mom AFTER I finished blogging.... Ah well...

Smile! You'll live longer...

The movie worked. Brought a smile to my face and I can feel a hint of the old holiday elf wanting out. One of my fave Christmas movies is on tonight, I may watch it. The Christmas List. And I am probably gonna change my ringtone to the holiday one I got last year. Still debating on actually decorating, but we'll see.

Dad came over for dinner tonight. He brought pizza.... Mmmmmmmm.... I'd been DYING for pizza for ages and it was delish! Don't tell anyone, but he's napping on my bed right now. Poor Daddy. :) I'd take a pic, but for some reason people don't like it when ya snap photos of them sleeping. :P I hope the nap does him good. And my bed is much comfier than his...well I'd imagine as mine's newer.

I stayed up all night, no surprise. But most of the night I was busy moving my blogs. I finished. All the blogs I wrote and kept at Myspace have now found their new home here on Blogger. Had to move them manually, as neither Myspace or Blogger had a cooperative export/import option. But I'm happy now. I can close my Myspace account now.

And now.... for another slice of pizza and my Christmas movie. :D

Holiday Ho-hums

So, Thursday is Thanksgiving Day and officially kicks off the whole holiday season. As with last year, we will not be doing any family gathering/celebrating. Mom wasn't into it last year. Well she hasn't been into it since Tata's passing. She REALLY isn't into it this year, with my brother's passing. I dunno.. I'm fine with the not doing anything special for Thanksgiving. It's been ages since the day was anything more than just the obligatory family visiting with so-so Thanksgiving food. Don't get me wrong, there's still a great deal I am thankful for....just not enough to put me in a mood to care about Turkey Day.

Thanksgiving is one thing. But I'm on the fence about Christmas. It has always been my favorite time of year. The happy holiday movies. The cheery holiday songs. The decorations. Festive transformation of Disneyland. The general holiday spirit. While I decorated for me and recorded every Christmas movie that aired on TV mostly for me... I just dunno whether or not I feel up to it or not this year. I mean I know the lazy side of me is trying to say, don't decorate. But beyond that.... I know Mom and Dad won't be in the holiday mood and I understand cuz part of me isn't... But part of me wants to be. I just don't want to decorate or do something to get caught up in the spirit of the holidays and maybe make them sad cuz they aren't and/or can't be.

Being sick may have spoiled my chances at getting my Christmas Disneyland visit. Had to cancel on that due the stupid cold. >.< And my poor Issi is so busy from now until the holidays, so even if she wanted to she may not have the time. And even if she wanted to and had the time, I'd hate to steal what may be one rare moment for her to breathe and relax. Nana's been dying to go for years. She keeps bringing up that we (Mom and I) and Uncle David and fam. all go with her to Dis. But Uncle David's not rich, his kids are still on the too young side (or at least one or two of three of them), and Mom doesn't even want to go. I told Mom maybe I'd suggest to Nana that just she and I go. Not overly ideal for me, as the chances are she'll drive me a little nutty. :P But Nana would proabably love it; and if this past year has taught me anything, it is to cherish the time with family while they're still here.

Alright... I think I'm going to watch a Christmas movie. It was on TV last weekend or so but I missed it. Luckily, I was able to get it from Dad's Rental Shop. It sounded good considering the mood I was in about the holidays.....

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (2008) (TV)
From Amazon.com's Product Details (since Yahoo! TV Listings cuts off the description):

Five-time Emmy nominee and Golden Globe winner Henry Winkler stars in The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, the story of what happens when you open your heart to the power of Christmas. Disenchanted single mom Jennifer Cullen (Brooke Burns) is a Scroogette when it comes to anything Christmas. In fact, even her six-year-old son, Brian, is having trouble believing in Santa Claus. But when her Uncle Ralph (Henry Winkler) visits and brings a fellow passenger from his flight named Morgan Derby (Warren Christie), Jennifer s dubious heart awakens to the possibility that perhaps Christmas really does hold miracles. It s uplifting and laugh-packed and a story that will inspire the whole family to believe.

Breath of Fresh Air

Yep, I finally made it out for fresh air. After spending the whole day and night out of bed yesterday, I got to leave the house today (er yesterday as it's tomorrow now)! Okay so it was only to run a few errands and I had to whisper most of the time, but still! Dad took me out for our usual fun and games while running errands. :D And since I made it that far, I'm going to play again tomorrow (er today).

Got some cough drops to hopefully keep the lingering coughing fits to a minimum. I was desperate before and looked up home/natural remedies... People are SO weird. One said to cut a lemon in half, put salt and pepper in/on it, and then hold in your mouth til the coughing is suppressed... o.0 What???? I'm hoping I read it wrong. It was late at night. If not... How the hell did someone come up with that one! I like licking salted lemons.. and I'll even stick a wedge in my mouth (minus the rine), but half??? all in my mouth??? Uhh... So yay for cough drops. :D

K.. I have a RP post to finish, a few dishes to wash, litter to tidy, and my butt to get in bed! Okay, so I woulda finished all this had I not been distracted by a movie. :P

Being Sick Sucks

Last Friday, I woke up feeling fine. Dad came over. We all had some yummy KFC. Got on the comp. to check e-mail later on. Started to feel pressure in my ears. My left ear often feels like I'm going up to higher altitudes, so I dismissed it. Made plans to go to Disneyland all last minute like for the next day. Went to watch a movie with Mom. I had a headache along with that pressure in my head by the end of the movie. Did some more come stuff on the computer. Combined with what I thought were change-of-season-allergy symptoms and the headache, I realised I was sick.

While Mom had said to make sure to bundle up for Dis, I knew I couldn't risk getting Issi sick. I cancelled. :( Turned out to be a good thing... The headache was there all day. I felt completely drained and generally crappy. As I was sick, I couldn't go hang with Dad on Sunday either. :( I tell ya, this cold/flu thing may have been overdue (I usually get one a year and I haven't for a couple years), but man did it have the worst timing. No Dis with Issi. No Dad Sunday which may or may not have included a movie like at a theatre. Not to mention the errands that needed running. Mom too was a little sick. So she had to cancel a needed dental appointment. And no Target Tusday....

Tuesday was REAL fun.... Fever chills... I can't remember the last time I had a fever so bad that it actually caused me to shiver under mounds of blankets. Didn't have a thermameter to check my temp. though (may have lost in in the last move or two). But we know it was high. It was barely going down by Wednesday when Dad brought over a new thermameter. 100.3° F.... Dad thankfully went and did some shopping for me... Sick person supplies: soups, juices, more meds, crackers, and fruit. And some things we were running out of too.

Anywho.... It's Friday night now (or Saturday EARLY morning technically). Fever's been gone for a couple days. Ever present headache's been gone for most of a couple days. Still coughing, though not as much. The coughing fits are shorter and fewer. And I'm not as tired. Wouldn't go running around yet, but I can, y'know, sit up for more than a few hours at a stretch. Which is great. After a week of mostly sleeping off Nyquil comas, I am SO sick of my room. Hence me being out here writing this way too long blog about my lovely week.... :P

Now that I got that out of my system on to other net related activities... My Utopia province is in dire need of tending. My role play forum in sore need of attention. And as I have no voice, I may as well enjoy all the net talking I can get away with before my next Nyquil dose.

It's a small world....

Okay, so everytime I go out and about with my Dad, he almost always runs into someone he knows. Through his job, he meets alot of people. You're bound to run into people now and then.... Heck, even the cashier at Target today recognized us. Noticed that he buys alot of moves. :P Well okay, when ya go to a store every week and buy movies, I guess people notice. :P

But I guess running into people he actually knows isn't enough... We were driving to Target and he thought he recognized someone in the car next to us. :P It wasn't, but still... I thought it was funny... "I've seen you somewhere... Have you been to the planet Earth?" :P

LOVE YOU DADDY!

Obsessions... Or Addictions....?

Okay... So I'm addicted to Sudoku... First week I got the books, I did like 26 puzzles in one week. Granted they were mostly one star puzzles and a couple two star puzzles, but still. I took a week off, just so I didn't go through them so fast. Not sure that was a smart move. I lost my stride or something. First one I did this week took several hours and I believe that included starting over once. Second one... Oy.... MUCH longer.

It's just a two star. Shouldn't be that difficult, right? But for some reason, I kept making the same mistakes over and over and over. I got to a mostly done point before realizing the same error each time. I had to erase the whole thing three times before I finally decided to try something else. To prevent wearing the page so thin the puzzle on the other side disappeared as well as my pencil marks, I drew a grid on a piece of scratch paper and filled it in with permanent marker to match the one in the book. Poor man's photo copy. :P Anyway. The paper was stronger so IF I had to erase a million more times it could take it. :P I finally had to resort to finding the error using the answer key... Le sigh. Up til last night, I'd never even needed the answer key. Still not sure why I kept making the same error. Hopefullly I'll fair better next puzzle. But just in case, I made grid templates to print for practicing or long trial and error sessions.

Also, I've started up playing an old game of mine. Utopia. Yeah, I was pretty addicted to it. Server downtimes made us all nuts. And it seems the game's been taken over by another company or something and they moved the game over to a beta server or something (I don't follow the tech lingo well). Anyway... The age just restarted and we've spent more of it with downed server time and major laggage than actually playing. Sucks, cuz we're supposed to be managing our provinces and getting ready for Out of Protection normal game play and all of us are freaking out. Yeah, I've realized my old addiction is just as strong now. I find I check to see if the game is up once or twice a night at least.

I am closing the door of another old addiction. Myspace. I already stripped the page of most of the content and friends. As soon as I finish moving the old blog posts to this blog, then I will be deleting that account. Lots of work though. I think I still have another 50 blog posts to go, and I have to move 'em manually cuz Blogger and Myspace didn't want to play nice for me. Ah well, it was fun seeing some of the old stuff I put up. Like a bunch of pics of an itty bitty Pixie... Shame she grew up. Well most of her. We're still waiting on that head to catch up to her body. :P

Okay... I'm sleepy... NAP TIME! Toodles Doodles!

Booo...

My flowers have bloomed so lovely. And did I mention they smell so good? I've discovered that Yellow and White roses smell the best. And I think I did a smidge better at arranging the flowers. Okay, so I'm still not Martha Stewart, but Mom said I did okay. And there were fewere holes on the other side. :P

I took the loose petals off.. Actually instructions told me to take the outer ones off when I got them, but I didn't. So I took the loose petals off and they looked so purdy and still healthy, so I wrapped 'em in a veil scarf thing I had from who knows where. Made a lil sack and tied 'em off. It smells pretty and I tucked it in a drawer. Well I hated to toss away the pretty petals!

So far, I've kept the furry babies from getting at the flowers. And boy, has Oreo tried! Pixie wanted one of my loose petals, but I didn't want her chewing on it...y'know in case it was bad for them? Can't be too careful when it comes to my babies.

Anyway, I took these pics yesterday after I changed their water. :)

Since I had my camera out I thought 'I'll take pics of my babies', but of course neither one was doing anything particularly cute. Well, kinda cute. They were both in the same poses. Like always. They're almost always in the same position even in separate rooms. It's kinda funny.

Pixie on the edge of Mom's bed....

Oreo on the edge of my bed...

They're still cute. :P Even if they are oddly pyschicly linked to sit/lay the same way ALL the time. :P

Dad came over for dinner. He brought some deliscious Greek Sub sandwiches. Numnumnum.... After dindin, he tried to explain how football works. I don't think I'll ever follow it. WAY too much to follow. I'm used to the simplicity in baseball, and even that I don't follow. :P If I'm not playing the sport or emotionally invested in the players in the sport (ie...actors in a movie), I'm not hugely interested in watching sports. They're like ants on a field most times. Or like Gum-ball-ism, they're just tiny toys in those gumball machines. Too small to keep track of.

We actually saw kids out Trick or  Treating tonight! Yep, as Dad was leaving, there were a bunch of kids that knocked on our neighbor's door. They seemed to know, we weren't handing anything out even though our light was on. Smart kids. ;) I don't even have candy for ME, like I'd give them anything. :P I neglected to look at their costumes, bummer....

Ah, well.. The only Trick or Treater I care about this year is short and plushy and cute as can be! :D

Kitties, and Movies, and Flowers... oh my!

Some time last week, Felix, one of the stray cats we feed, didn't show up for dinner. He's missed a meal or two over the past year, but he shows up the next day for breakfast. We of course still worried about her (Mom thinks it's a she, we've never checked cuz we can't get close enough). Still no sign of her. Poor thing. When we moved here a year ago and started feeding her, we didn't think she'd last through the winter. I hope she died peacefully. And at least we fed her and talked to her. She pretty much lived on our lil yard and steps. Poor Tundra, the other stray, will be lonely now. So we talk to him more, and I even go out and play with him (with a string so I don't touch him and catch anything >.< ).

Spent Sunday at my Dad's again. :) We watched FOUR movies. That's a bit of a record for us. :P Okay so three of them were shortish animated movies. :P But it was a fun relaxing day. :) We watched Race to Witch Mountain, the Reef, Hercules, and Little Spirit. Yep, we watched the first Christmas movie of the year. :P Okay, so we're a little early. Just a smidge. :P I can still hear the Disney songs from Hercules in my head. :P "Who put the glad in gladiator....." :P And Race--- was a cute and funny movie too! :D

I brought home a couple of Dad's old shelves and unpacked three more boxes! Almost a year since we moved in, and we are almost done unpacking. Just two more boxes of books and one box of VHS tapes (episodes of Star Trek TNG and Voyager). I set them up in Mom's room. They look so nice and purdy. Dad says there's two more of the shelving units that we can use, so I'll put another one in Mom's room to empty one more box of books and the other I'll use for the DVDs as those shelves are full now and the collection is still growing. I'll take pics when all is set up. :) But it is sooooo cool to have the books in shelves instead of in boxes. They've been in boxes for YEARS. And of course the book collection for both Mom and I kept growing each move too. :P Yeah.... We're a family of readers... Always buying more and more books even when we have enough to last us at least a decade at home. :P

Soooo... Today (er, yesterday.... as it's now way after midnight)... I wake up, and Mom says there's a box outside. Well I can't go out til I shower, and she thinks it's just her stadium chair, a prize from work, so there was no rush right? I get ready, as I'm gonna go hang with Dad for "Target Tuesday" and then finally go outside. Not a chair.... I read the box. "Proflowers" But part of me ignored that and I went to read the label as I picked it up.. It was for ME! :D Yep, I stood there in a bit of happy confusion as it didn't say who from til I opened it. My wonderfully sweet best friend sent me flowers!

They're so prettiful too! They're actually prettier now even after this pic was taken. I'll probably take another later today with better lighting. And they smell sooo sweet too. I love ProFlowers. They really send them with great care and last longer too. So far the babies haven't attacked them. Yay. And I keep them safe out of reach when we're sleeping. Anyway, it was a totally happy surprise today. I seriously had to stop myself from crying.

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. It's SO winday lately. Palm branches were all over the ground! And the power flickered a few times here at home and once as we were leaving Target. So if you don't hear from me... See if there's a new chapter in the Oz history books. :P

Sunday... That's my fun day.....

Sunday was Fun-tastic! :)

8:45 a.m. - Woke up 10 minutes late. Gasp! I totally blame the bizarre dream I had. I called Dad to let him know I was up (y'know, so he knew that I wasn't sleeping through my alarms and still gonna be in a coma when he came to get me. :P). Due to rushing around to make up the time, Mom and cats leaving little mess to clean up, and Dad running behind, it seemed like I was ready WAY early. Twas good. Had time to catch my breath and enjoy the morning fresh air. :)

10-10:30 a.m. - Dad picks me up and we head to find a place to eat. After passing up on a couple really busy places, we ended up at Huff's(?). Maybe the remodelling scared other customers away, cuz we were able to be seated almost right away.

11:03 a.m. - Glanced at my watch, while looking at the menu. We ordered and I swear, the food arrived like five later! The service was super friendly and FAST! Enjoyed a nice lil breakfast while watching the waitress laugh with the other customers. Soon as we finished, they whisked our plates away. I think the employees have super speed or something. I mean the check practically blew off the table after the waitress left it!

11:40 a.m. - Head out to the car when we see a Dallar Tree. (Did I mention the restaurante service was fast? :P ) Dallar Tree... 99cent stores... These places are DANGEROUS. :P Once I recall Mom and I going in one for a few bucks worth of candy and coming out with 50 bucks worth of stuff! It was ALOT of stuff... but still! We went in looking for one thing...came out with 42? 44? somethings. Te he?

1:ish p.m. - We made it to the store we actually intended. :P Barnes & Nobles. I LOVE bookstores. I could probably spend the entire day in one. We went to check out bookmarks, and I ended up seeing a purdy journal. I swear I could have ten unused journals and still go "ooo" to a pretty one I see. Anyway.. I grabbed it and figured if we saw a couple of inexpensive books (cuz them darn bookstores are always so expensive) I would snag the journal as it had a buy two get this half off deal... There were some, but eh.. Didn't feel like grabbing them. Nothing I HAD to have, y'know? Besides, the journal would have just collected dust before I used it. :P

2:ish p.m. - We went to Borders! Yay! More bookstore! (Did I mention I LOVE bookstores? :P ) This time we found the desired bookmarks. Very cute and purdy ones with tassles and bobbles. I like bookmarks with tassles and bobbles. :D We also snaged a couple of surprisingly inexpensive DVDs... at Borders of all places! Total shocker. Oh, almost fell on my butt after an elevator ride. Weird cuz my balance doesn't usually get thrown by elevators. But sure enough walked around a display case and had to steady myself.

?ish p.m. - Stopped at Wal-mart to grab some coffee for my Mom and to check for a DVD. They didn't have the one Dad wanted. I keep telling him to just order it online. :P The place was a mad house! I don't think I've ever seen it that busy so far away from Christmas! Dad found other goodies though. :) As it was almost five and we were hungry again, we stopped at the McD's in the store. And would you believe it, Dad STOLE someone's napkins! :o LOL! Well as usual, McD didn't give us any, and to be fair the table looked abandoned. But I saw the drinks were still full. I wonder if the theft was reported. :P I laughed the entire way out of the store.

5ish p.m. - We finally made it to my Dad's house. :P 5pm is often the time we leave his house to make those last minute stops or quickie store runs. :P Anywho, we watched the Proposal while we ate our burgers and chocolate shakes. Mmmmmm.... Good food, good movie, deliscious shake, and great company... :) All in all a wonderful way to end the fun filled day.

7:30 p.m. - Dad brought me home and helped me bring in my loot, which included (among other things) my very own Sudoku puzzle books. Those lil buggers are addictive! I did three of them later that night already.

It was a busy and fun day. :) Thank you, Daddy!

Just Like a Ride at Disneyland!

So, last weekend I actually had a full social life! Crazy right? Saturday, I spent the day  with Issicicle and her mom at..... DISNEYLAND! :D And Sunday I spent the day at my Dad's house. :)

The adventure began with Issi picking me up and us gabbing the whole way to her place, like always :D, and calls from her mom every five or ten minutes, :P. We ended up going to get her a flu shot. And holy cow man! Talk about an assembly line! Three saturdays in a row the hospital does the whole flu shot thing. You stay in your car, weaving in and out throughout the parking lot in a huge line of cars. They stop to ask questions and give ya info on the shots and then finally give ya the shot while you're still in the car... Twas the first ride of the day. :P Instead of a lollipop for the shot victim we all went to Dis after. :P

It's Halloween at Disneyland. Which usually just means the Haunted Mansion is decorated in the Nightmare Before Christmas look and Disney beanies in Halloween costumes and some Halloween decorations here and there. Year before last, Issi and I took a pic in front of a giant Mickey Jack-o-Lantern.

THIS year... They went all out! (Okay, maybe they did more in past years and I just forgot. :P ) ANYWHO.... There were some awesome Halloween fireworks with a light show and Disney Halloweeny music. :D AND and... Space Mountain was transformed to be all scary and stuff... Good Halloweeny music on the ride with ghosties and monsters trying to grab at ya. :P And it was REALLY FAST! Yep it was a blast!

We only went on the one ride, but that was SO worth it all by itself. While we were on the ride, her mom was saving seats for us to watch the fireworks. And oh boy! It was a good thing too, cuz they get PACKED come parade and firework time. We sat there for hours, playing cards, playing with our cell phones, and freezing cuz neither one of us dressed warm enough for the first cold weather of the season. :P Silly Cali girls...

Got me the cutest lil Mickey dressed in purple and carrying a lil Trick or Treating bat thing bag. No, he didn't have fangs, but he did come with a cape and a hat. He's adorable and I must remember to take a pic of him later. Picked up some cherry balls too.. Num num num.... They're all but gone already. Mom LOVES them. I'm not allowed to leave Dis without them. Next time she intends to send me with enough moola to get a dozen bags. :P Anywho, we ended the night with a nice lil late night dindin and then the ride home where I fell asleep as usual. :P

SUNDAY, Dad and I picked up some ingredients to make some food at his place. He cooked some nummy eggs and weinnies while I solved my first Sudoku puzzle! :D It was fun. We ate and watched a couple movies. :) It was a nice chillaxxin' Sunday. :D I love these lil Sundays. I've caught myself automatically expecting them now. Tehe?

Anywho... Off to eat left over KFC... num num num.....

Oh yay...

Yesterday we found a lil bunch of ants marching aimlessly in the hallway... Okay.. It rained.. Maybe they retreated into the house... Not a hord of em or anything.. Killed them... Found some more in the kitchen.. Lost soldiers? Not alot.. Killed them....

It's 4am.. I go into the kitchen to clean a few dishes from last night before going to bed (yeah I know I go to bed too late).... There's ants all over the fracking kitchen.... >.< I am soooooo irritated and upset and frustrated I want to cry and scream all at the same time...  I DO not want to do this again... I do NOT want to do this again....

Off I go... before Mom wakes up and finds them.... :(

^_^

I've been spending more and more time at my Dad's house. Like practicaly every sunday now for the past two or three months? Anywho.. We grab a quick breakfast, or go sit in a restaurant, or eat at his place. Then we watch movies and just sleslax. Okay, sometimes.. okay most times, we run errands before or after for Mom. But errands with Dad are never just boring errands. Hehe...

Last weekend, Dad came back out to the living room and I was reading or something, and he said something like he was sorry it was boring???? Today, Mom, who usually encourages me to go play with Dad (not that I need encouragement there. :P ), suggested I spend the day with Dad at least once every weekend, but then quickly asked "or is that too much?"

Who are these people? And why don't they know me? I guess they forget who they raised.... I'm the girl who likes just hanging with family and friends. I'm also the girl who is easily amused... Give me a good book or a nice lil show to watch and I'm set. :) I am happy to just sit and watch TV or read next to Mom or Dad any day of the week. :)

Small Blessings

Even at the worst of times, I am ever grateful for the small blessings. A beautiful sunset/sunrise. A cool day. A laugh shared with family or friends. A simple but satisfying meal. A successful market shopping trip. Affection from my furry babies. Happy memories popping into my head. Anything and everything.

It's been a good few weeks in the blessings department. My little banking booboo (human error) was happily resolved. Thank you God. Words from a medium or whatever have helped Mom try to let go some of her anger and guilt and as a result, Mom was able to join Dad and I for little family dinners again. Thank you God. I survived the six month mark without being too sad because I was enjoying the day with my Dad. Thank you God. A situation with the landlords that could have turned ugly was resolved and we will be staying put. Thank you God.

I don't read His word like I should. I can't remember the last time I went to church. While I talk to God often, I don't always pray, well not the traditional way I guess. But thanks to God's goodness, He continues to bless my life each and everyday and I continue to feel His prescence. Lord, thank You for Your many blessings and for the people in my life who You use to make those blessings.

Where's the Volume Control?

You know those families on TV where everyone yells rather than walk over to each other and just talk? I think I live next to one of those families... Or maybe more than one of those families. Mom and Dad are ALWAYS yelling at each other for every little thing.... Mom yells at kid for breaking something or messing with something... Kid yells back his "I didn't do anything!"s.... And they must be part of a species of yellers, cuz all there friends talk loud too. I get sporting events where all the guys "Yeah!" for each lil victory. I get the drunken hubby/boyfriends yelling to be let in. Don't like it, but I get it. But now chickadee's girl friend came over and the two of them were having a conversation as if they were talking over a crowd rather than in a quiet neighborhood within feet of each other. But then these chuckleheads also like to have fights in the middle of the streets, with one end in the car and the other in the apartment. Where is the mute button?

Poor Baby Teenager

I watched a special about a teenager stuck in the body of a toddler. For most of her 16 years, this girl has not grown beyond that of a two year old. Mentally, she's stuck at nine months old. I can't even imagine what that family has been through. For the special, of course, everyone put on their smiles. "She's so loving." "She's a miracle baby." The father even went as far as to say that "if someone had a pill to 'fix' her" he would tell them "one, she's not broken, and two, no thanks." That she was fine as she is. Yeah, right!

While mom, dad, two older sisters, one younger sister, and grandparents may all love the girl, I can't imagine anyone not wanting to see her grow up. As it stands right now, she will forever need someone to care for her. She can't talk, can't walk, and can't even eat normally. She is as the show called her, a child frozen in time. She is blessed with what looked like a large and loving family. So there's a saving grace, seeing as how mom and dad can't live forever. No one even knows how long she will live, since her genes don't age.

Seriously.... I can't even imagine being in any one of their shoes. I mean mentally slow developed individuals get frustrated over time. And here's a permanantly nine month year old mental status? I'm not saying that all families with disabled individuals would want their family members "fixed", but this poor kid will always be completely dependant and never able to fully express herself. Sure she may never know the difference, but I can't believe her father wouldn't want more for her. I mean c'mon, even the mother goes out of her way NOT to dress the girl in baby looking clothes. She's 16 and the mother tries to dress her like a big girl.

I don't know. It's kinda sad. I mean lots of mentally slow people go on to live semi-independant lives. And physically disabled individuals overcome challenges everyday. But this girl's got the worst of both worlds, essentially. I know she'll be loved. But no one wants to be a baby all their lives. And no sane parent wants their child to be a baby forever. I dunno.. I'm babbling. I think the dad should have said yes, he would have taken the pills to help his kid. Doesn't make him a bad guy to want more for her. If he was worried he'd look like a jerk, he could have said, "she's not broken, but yeah for her sake..."

On the other hand.. God has certainly tested their patience. And from the looks of things, that family has passed. Good for them. And they've been blessed with loving and supportive daughters and extended family and even granted aid for the girl's medical needs.

Pre Dawn Tears and New Fears

It seems I have a new routine. I'm not sure how it got started, but I wish it would stop. For the past week or two, my usual routine of stay up late stalling to clean the kitchen or killing time online til almost dawn has changed. Oh, I still stay up late, but now... now in that really quiet couple of hours before dawn, I cry.

I'm not sure what triggered it. One too many sad conversations or thoughts. I know one day when I first pulled out a CD Josh made, it made me sad when I was playing it. Maybe that was the trigger for that day. But now. Before I do the dishes, after... when I'm trying to fall asleep.... At some point, the slightest sad thing will set me off. I was watching a movie last night, and a kinda sad seen set me off. It was sad enough for a tear or two, no more, under normal circumstances.

I don't know... I try not to cry in front of Mom. Maybe holding back too much for the past few months is trying to break free? I still keep silent, even though she's asleep. Even though I wish I could scream out, I keep silent.

I wish it would stop. It's made for rather depressing couple of weeks. I put up the front when talking to everyone. I don't want to sound like a broken record or bum anyone else out. Funny, considering I encourage everyone else to talk to me so they're not trapped with their thoughts or emotions alone.

On the scary side of things, a minor scare.... I fracked up my banking by paying a bill I only thought I had money for... That's gonna be fun to replace the funds before auto withdrawal payments bounce. >.< Honestly, as careful as I am with banking, I don't know HOW I let that happen.

On a serious side... It's a little scary to hear both your parents talking similarly on being afraid they won't wake up from their sleep and on some level it seems both wouldn't care if they didn't wake up. I know I'm 29 and should be self-sufficient. But whether I am or not I am not ready to lose either one of my parents. Not now. Not yet. I know they're both hurting, but it is still scary to hear however small a degree that they might not mind not waking up one morning. I mean before we heard the autopsy report, we all thought Josh had just given up and his body simply complied. Dear Lord, please help my have the strength to carry on.....

To Call or Not To Call

I was cleaning out my cell phone's Recent Call logs...and I came across the number I've been saving there for months. I set it aside with intention of calling back. But here we are, four and a half months later, and I still haven't called Charice back.

The night she called, I remember thinking I didn't feel like talking to her. We'd been out to the movies, come back and visited here at the house, and it was a good day that I just didn't want to ruin with a phone call. Yeah, calls and visits with Charice can go either way. We were best friends in junior high, but we grew so far apart in the following years. The out of the blue calls or visits are on the weird side now. Sometimes it's great to catch up, other times it's like ugh...can we say goodbye now.

I didn't recognize the number when it came in, but she left a message on voicemail. So I told myself I'd call back the next day or in a few days..... The next day, she was the last thing on my mind.

Now after four months, I don't even know if I should bother. I mean how's that conversation going to go? "Sorry I didn't call you back. But the day after you called, my brother died." Yeah, there's a fun conversation. But at the same time, I feel bad for not calling. I mean friends come and go in those school years. But no matter how far apart we grew, she'd still call now and then.

Last time I saw her, I just happened to run into her at a bus stop. What are the chances, right? She was going into rehab. I can't even remember where her son was or who he was staying with. It was like the month of or before our first move. So at least she knows I don't live in Anaheim anymore.

Guess I should call her back. She keeps in touch however sparingly for a reason. And I suppose it'll be nice to talk to the girl who saved me from loneliness 7th grade. Plus, who else can I reminisce with about playing Barbies. :P

And then what happened?

Sooo... I'm terrible at keeping people posted. For those who were worried, the silence from my mother actually broke like hour or two after that last post. And within a day or so, she was back to her normal-ish self.

I got a much needed break from the house. Nothing energizes me like Disneyland does. Chrissi kidnapped me for two whole days. Okay a day and a half. We spent the evening at Dis. It's funny. We mostly just walked. I mean we tried to get on Space Mountain, but as usual, when our forces are combined, stuff breaks down. Waited in that line only to leave it half way through it. Ah, well. We walked and talked. It was just a nice night. Packed as it was, it was still just sooo nice to walk around there. And we did get on a ride. Okay, so we had to wait til they repaired it or whatever, curse our combined forces. :P But we waited it out, cuz it was almost closing time and it was our last chance to get on a ride.

Spent the night at her place. Movies, bookstore, OC Fair.... Good food, good fun... Hehe... I expected to bring back the sour cherry balls from Dis, but I brought back a book and yummy fruit from the fair, and some earrings, and a huge empty cup. Why on earth did I drink so much lemonade? :P I got home just under midnight. All and all an awesome weekend! So, Issi, in case I didn't say it enough then, THANK YOU!

We, Mom and I, have made the freakish discovery that Pixie, my two year old kitty is actually heavier than Oreo, my big eleven year old! I mean it's true, it is getting harder to tell them apart. But side by side, Pixie still looks smaller than Oreo, especially in the head. :P One day her head will catch up to her body, I hope.... But dude, I pick her up and she feels soooooo much heavier than Oreo! He's just fluffy? Okay, okay, the theory is, she's got more muscle than Oreo. She does do alot more running around than he does. And oy, will this shedding never end! If this keeps up, pretty soon, Mom and I will be coughing up furballs. Yuck.

Soooo, I'm doing things backwards... I like meant to watch Harry Potter 1-5 before going.. But Mom wanted to watch with, and so I waited... and waiting leads to forgetting... So come this past Saturday, Issi, her mom, and I went to see Harry Potter 6. Now 1-3 I've seen like a million times, 3 is my favorite and we always watch them in order. We've seen 4 a few times, cuz we saw it at the theatre, during a successful marathon, and then once before we saw the 5th movie. But 5, well.... I taped it when we got HBO, but er, uh... Yeah, so I only had the vague memory of when we saw it at the theatre. :P I mean it was fine. I had enough of it in my head not to be totally lost. And despite what some critics I saw somewhere said, I liked the movie. :) Lots of fun lil moments and some really cool moments... And now I can't get the visual of the professor knitting out of my head! :P Anyway... Since then, Mom and I have watched a Potter movie a night.. well not EVERY night. We just watched my fave, 3, last night. So we just have 4 and 5 left, and yay, I actually have 5 on DVD now. :D Thank you, Daddy.

Hmm.. Well, I've babbled enough. And I should get my tidying up chores done, so I can finish my current book, so I can take a new book when Mom and I run errands tomorr.... er... today.... And hopefully, today's date won't be yet another montly reminder for Mom.... Hopefully...