We revisit our fair princess. Actually, she's not fair. She is brown, cuz she is Mexican.... Anyway, we revisit our lovely, yeah there we go, lovely princess. No prince, but with friends like the Mighty Kumquaticus at her side, who needs 'em! Yes all is well. For Kumquaticus whisked her away to a not so far off land, where the adventures began.
Our two young, beautiful, talented, funny, and absolutely brilliant adventurers... Hey, I gotta throw in the copliments where I can, after all it is about me and my fwend. Anywho, again, our two adventurers made their way to a favorite retreat of theirs. They took the Mighty Kumquaticus' spacecraft. Yeah I know, the other tales had the princess on a noble steed... But Kumquaticus had air conditioning and a CD player, so it had to be advanced technology.. It must have been a space ship, cuz that's the only logical answer.
They came upon the dreaded Round About... A terrible and horrifying traffic circle, but don't worry kiddies... Don't get scared.. It isn't as bad as say the Frightening Round Abouts of that scary town of TJ. Kumquaticus braved it well. And to our relief, there was a secret passageway to swiftly pass by unharmed.
The two adventurers talked of many things. One of which was the future of the Mighty Kumquaticus. Yes, you've heard it from me first. She will soon be dubbed the Sheriff of Mervynham! She will right the wrongs of the department store realm and prevent the plague of the five-finger discounts! I am sure she will bring along her trusty sidekick, the Wonder Worm (her straw worm pal). It was exciting news and worthy of proclamation.
At long last, they reached their favorite retreat, Land of the Pizzookie. They were seved immediately, for the peasant their were sooo bored they leapt at the chance to serve someone. Refreshment was brought to them before they had even fully settled in for their continued discussions. We nodded our appreciation of these bored peasants.
It is a well known fact that the princess likes to mutilate her lemons and drown them in water, for the sheer enjoyment of torture and the lemony goodness it provides. It was on her second lemon, that the fateful event happened. The lemon never had a chance. It was beheaded withe a simple squeeze of her fingers. The top of the lemon flew across the room and rolled underneath a chair. Luckily, none of the peasants saw the horror.. But the two adventurers knew what had happened.
It was time to give the peasants what they wanted, payment for services rendered. The Mighty Kumquaticus pulled out the magic card and placed it in the slot. But the card refused to take the charge. A card that refused to do what it was born to do! It didn't want to take charge! It was a worrisome moment, but easily fixed. Kumquaticus with all her mightiness forced the card into its place.
Wishing to get cleaned up before returning to the world beyond the Pizzookie Sanctuary, they ventured off to the fountains of cleanliness. But it seemed there was a troll under the bridge, just waiting to strike out at all those wishing to access the waters. Oh wait, it wasn't a troll... It was a peasant crawling around below, for what, no one knows.
Granted access, the pair washed up. Each going for something to dry off, they encountered the Twiddledee and the Twiddledum of paper towel dispensers. Wave your hand in front of them and out comes some paper towel... But how much? One gave barely enough to dry a finger and one gave enough to dry a whole arm off. The oddity was too much to bear, so they left that place.
Adventures led them to shops, for what would two female adventurers be without shops. A grand shop of books would have and could have devoured them up... But they made it out, having spent only a small amount of their precious magic money.
They passed by the Vile Kohls Keep. A tyrant is known to spread rumors, hoping to incite riots and terror in the lands of Mervynham. He tricks the peasants of Mervynham to come and serve him in noble positions of honor, but find themselves as his slaves! The two adventurers passed by as quickly as possible.
We entered Mervynham and wandered its streets. Kumquaticus stopped at every turn with the princess nearly crashing into her each time. "Use your brake lights, lady," exclaimed the princess. They ventured into Shoe Country.. A pleasant enough place to find stray pairs of shoes.
"Does this match my dress?" And off we went to find it and see. But we were snared into a trap... Purse Plains caught our eyes. Nice plump purses roamed the land. So pretty were they, that Kumquaticus was easily swayed to take one home with her.
We were just about to leave when... What's this? Only one shoe? It was missing its mate! The Mighty Kumquaticus rescued it and reunited the pair. They would look nice in her castle, so she took them home with her.
No trip is ever over without a sweettooth run for a loved one. The princess had to find round sweet dough with holes in the middle for the lovely queen at home. They came across a baker who could make these magical goodies of goodness. But when they approached the shop, it was both open and closed. The doors were open, but the bars inside were locked... How odd. No matter, the donuts purchased, the two went on their way.
They found the land of the pets! Kumquaticus had a kitty to please with treats and in search we went. We stumbled upon sharks who were frightened of us! Well now, of course who wouldn't cower at our might... But they were sharks and they huddled in corners of their tanks like we meant to eat them. We left them to their shame and fear. It was all for the cat that we wanted.. Pet grass was next on the list. I wonder if it is like Pet Weed?
They were now heading home. It had been a long evening of adventures. And happily they made there way back to their respective castles. But first they faced the return trip through the dreaded Round About. It was much more dangerous going the other way.. But they made it through in one piece once more!
The princess' belongings gathered she shouted for the draw bridge to be openeed. She turned back and saw it... Rather heard it, cuz we all know our princess is a little blind especially with bright spaceship lights on. Someone was talking to the Mighty Kumquaticus.
The princess later found out what it was all about. It was a peacekeeper who had stopped Kumquaticus. He questioned her about being in this part of the realm... It was true the castle was in a virtual see of ruins and criminals ran rampant. He asked her if she had wheat on her plate... It was a Kansas plate, so naturally it should have wheat on it. Smiling and nodding, she endured the silliness.
Then the peacekeeper informed her of a local weed dealer in this part of Cheapside and that he would put an end to it once he found it. With that their exchange ended, and off she went to her own castle.
It was a long series of events... Long and strange and funny... A night neither would forget anytime soon... But maybe that is because it is now being blogged. One may never know.
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Comment(s):
brilliant! yet another creative triumph for my dear fwend! we shall have to venture out together again soon:D
Posted by sarah on 02 Jun 05 Thursday - 11:03 AM
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