Tower of Carisa's Babble

Hurray! Mom passed this huge test today! She's been studying since she started the job a couple weeks ago. It was really important and she coulda lost her job if she failed twice... But she passed! I knew she would, but she had doubts. For the first time in weeks, she didn't have to come home and study. I hope she's getting a really good sleep right now.

Jacob came to visit the other day. I was relieve to see him even though I wondered why he was crying for food again. He came for two meals and some treats the lil bugger. He's supposed to be with his owner, so I dunno why he was out. Haven't seen him again, so I'm hoping he's home again. I'm not worried this time though.

I created a deviantART account last week. I love hunting for potential role play pics and some of 'em you can only see if you're a member. So I said, what the hey... But then I couldn't just leave it empty. I put up the only two landscape shots I took with the digital camera that I have. The others were taken with the film camera and so I couldn't put them up. I also added an old monologue I wrote... I think I posted it here already, so if ya read it no need to rush to see it. I think I'd like a scanner. Maybe I could scan the old pics I'd taken and maybe some of the stuff I drew too. Anywho, I hope to take more pics and write more so if you'd like to see, here I am: http://relaya.deviantart.com/

I've been reading again. Not in the past few days, but last week I was reading alot and I'm hooked on the story again. So, maaaaaybe by the middle of next month I can finish the book (and finally give it back to you, Dad ). I'm already trying to think of which book I'd like to read next. And I'm torn between picking up a loved auther's book or reading books I've borrowed so I can return them.

Mom and I were being silly online this weekend. We made ourselves into M&M's at Planet M&M's. OMG! We were laughing for over an hour. You can make a movie and everything! So see if you can tell which one is Mom and which is me:

It's survey season... Beware... Every now and then, I just can't resist the urge to fill out those cheesy surveys and post them to you all even though you probably all know that stuff by heart now. I dunno why I like answering them.... I reckon, I'm just a big ol' dork.

Okay, it's late and I've babbled long enough. Not too mention stalled long enough. I can only put off mopping and putting up a water bottle so long.

He's Home Finally

How rude.... Someone threw the blanket I'd left for Jacob in the trash. Luckily it was right on top in the laundry room trash can, so I fished it out and put it back. Not that it mattered, cuz I hadn't seen Jacob for a couple days. I was getting kinda worried about him. Not wanting the blanket tossed again, I posted a sign above it.

I haven't actually seen Jacob since my last blog. The blanket got tossed a couple days after that... Then after I left the note, someone actually folded the blanket and left it. :P That was nice, but I'm sure they like to snuggle in them. Blanket got tossed once and for all Friday I think. Mom suggested I ask the manager about him. I should have, cuz I worried about him all weekend. Kept looking around the bushes for him.

And I swear my cat is telling the neighborhood strays to come to my place... I can just hear Oreo... "Hey, come to my place. My pet humans are suckers and like to feed you guys if you beg right." Yeah, some other cat came calling for a few days... Dunno if it's owned or not, but we fed it for a few days only cuz he/she was so LOUD. We figured it was the only way to shut it up.

I finally checked with the manager. Jacob's owner came home a couple days ago. No clue where or how he lived between Tuesday and when the owner came home. I just hope that bastard came home before it rained the other day. At any rate, I can stop worrying. I actually had a bad dream about Jacob... He'd been taken to a shelter and put to sleep... Which I'd actually have preferred if no one could take care of him... Better that then suffer alone and unloved.

Anyway... I can finally stop worrying. I can finally stop looking for him. He's hopefully safe and happy with his owner who will hopefully be more careful with his pet.

Jacob

No we didn't get a new cat. We just happen to live in a pet friendly apartment complex. This guy is Jacob. He's been meowing for days and days in our part of the apartments, especially at the apartment above us. At first we thouhgt it may have belonged to them or the previous renters. He's loud and sounds just horrible when he cries.

The neighbor up and across from us comes out and talks to him just as I do. Jacob's a friendly bugger. Walks right up to you. The neighbor and I started feeding him in hopes of quieting him. Even the ones above us gave him some people food. Lisa, the neighbor up and across from us), and I gave him cat food. It's so sad, cuz we know he wants inside somewhere. He follows anyone who'll talk to him, me most of all.

Finally, out of concern, Lisa and I both ended up asking the manager about him. That's when we found out his name. And I found out his asshole owner was on vacation. He followed me all the way to the rental office when I asked if the manager could call and see if a neighbor was caring for it while the owner was on vacation. It's just so sad. And it's breaking Mom and I's hearts to hear him outside crying.

Yesterday evening it started raining and Jacob was upstairs crying. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed an old blanket and led him to the laundry room. They're open all the time here with a light on. I put it in a corner next to the soda machine and put him on it. Pet him for a while and we did a back and forth routine. Staring out at the rain and back at the blanket, he finally got it. Better there than out in the rain.... I even checked on him before locking up tonight. He'd come for food earlier but I hadn't heard him since then. He went back to the laundry room and was sleeping...

It pisses me off that the owner would leave without making proper arrangements for him. A neighbor.. A kennel would be something! It seems he was not the original owner. The other one moved away and this new one took over. Well if he wasn't gonna do it right, he shouldn't have bothered.

Le sigh... Anywho... I hope his owner comes home soon. It's so sad to see him out there. I give him love when he comes crying. I probably shouldn't. But he's not like a stray who will get used to something... He already was used to love and he's homesick!

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Comment(s):

*cries* Send him to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(( .... okay I know he belongs to someone ... but thats just MEAN.... I agree with you .. if they can't take care of him .. then they shoudlnt have him.

*snuffles*

He is a pretty kittycat. :D

You should be commended for taking care of him while his "owner" is on vacation... the laundry room was an excellent idea :D :D :D ...

I think when the owner comes back .. he should have to sleep on a blanket in the laundry room .

>:D<

Posted by susan;) on February 20, 2007 - Tuesday - 11:36 AM

Cobwebs in the Head

I've got too many cobwebs in my head.

I used to read almost everyday. I used to work on my stories or role play all the time. If I wasn't able to write out my stories, I'd act/work them out in my head, around the house, or while out walking. My imagination was ever active. Yep, up until two years ago, I still regularly had my make believe games I'd visualize or act out like a one woman show.

Now... I barely read anything. I carry a book around, but I can't focus on reading it for longer than ten minutes. I remember when I would almost miss bus stops cuz I was too busy reading. The last few minutes before work were minutes I could read another page. Getting to classes early was yet another oppertunity to read.

Writing... Well there's sooo much I want to write and I think I have a combined writers' block and lack of focus that nothing gets written. Shoot, it takes me forever to write a blog sometimes. Even writing role plays for my vampire game takes a lot sometimes. I've got RPs in mind and for some reason I just can't get them out.

Sooooo... It's time to clear the cobwebs out of my head. Dust off the brain. Cuz I'm startin' to miss reading... writing.. and learning.

There's a football team on my head...

Okay not on my head. But definitely noisey walkers or something living upstairs. I've never lived on the first floor. Given the choice, Mom always chose upstairs. I think before Christmas I heard what I thought musta been maintenance fixing up the place. And sometime this month, there's been just lotsa noise. Week 1 I thought, okay someone's moving in. Week 2, they're getting settled still. I did lots of shifting of boxes for a couple weeks... But man, just them walking is loud. It's not Aaaaasss bad, but it still is louder than what I'd expect. So I've decided that we must have an invisible football team living upstairs. Invisible cuz I never see them.

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Comment(s):

Dude, Gwen and I chose to live upstairs thinking we wouldn't be very noisy or bothersome to the people below us, and then we wouldn't have people stomping around above us. Silly Gwen and me. We didn't count on a two-year old living in an entirely linoleum-floored apartment below us. I despise that child.

Posted by Bizabob on January 29, 2007 - Monday - 11:58 PM

Extra! Extra!

Hot off the presses! Read all about it! Crazed candy killer, obsessed kitty, and more!

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a dork. I know it. But you all love me!!!!

Holiday Newspapers :P

Call it boredome, silliness, or just plain ol' nerdiness. I made my mother a holiday newspaper. There's only been two issues so far... Yes, I intend to make more. But she commented that it was a shame she was the only one to see them. Soooo, here they are folks. All two of them! It should also be noted, these were both made like after midnight.

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So, tada! More to come later. And since I'll be making 'em for you all to see, they may even be bigger, too.

The "W" in Christmas

It's things like these that put a little perspective on the holidays. I, myself, know I put far too much emphasis on the trimmings of the season. But I like to think I still keep the true meaning of Christmas at heart.

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The "W" in Christmas

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations - extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas.

My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season for a six year old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for his school's "Winter Pageant." I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be working the night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured me there'd be a dress rehearsal the morning of the presentation. All parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise.

So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw several other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited, the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song.

Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as "Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun, commercial entertainment - songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer. So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was slightly taken aback by it's bold title.

Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and bright snow caps upon their heads. Those in the front row- center stage - held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing "C is for Christmas," a child would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is for Happy," and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love."

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down - totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W". The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one's mistake. But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her "W".

Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together. A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities. For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear: "CHRISTWAS LOVE" And, I believe, He still is. Amen.

And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.

Mark 10:16 (New King James Version)

Christmas Babblings

I totally blame Susan for the following babblings as her blog got me thinking about this and so much more.....

Anyone that knows me, knows I love Christmas. I love everything about it. The decorating and the light hanging, even if I grumble while doing it... Sending out Christmas cards (which I have yet to finish, think it's too late?). Christmas songs, almost all of them! And for that I'm blessed to live in California with the KOST playing non stop Christmas from Thanksgiving to Christmas day! Christmas carols, I'll sing as many as I can remember whenever I'm in need of Christmas cheer. The Christmas tree. Mom's baking. Christmas movies, just about any I can catch. I even like the shopping, so long as I am able to get gifts for loved ones.

I've gotten a little obsessive over the years. I used to be just the Christmas Elf (on speed) and now I've become the Christmas Nazis, so says my Mother. Decorating has got to go just so. Lights are always properly tested. There's a system to Christmas cards. Searches are done to ensure we don't miss a favorite Christmas movie. On the flip side, I have fun decorating everything I can manage to hang tinsel or some other holiday decoration on! This year even the fan and the water bottle cooler got decorated.

I'm the girl you'd hear before seeing. I'm rarely without a bell around my neck and matching bell earrings when I'm out and about. And once you do see me, see if you can't smile at my red antler head band or ridiculously long Santa hat. And as it's my favorite time of year, I'm most often smiling when out there and singing Christmas Carols to myself. I love it. The kids look up and smile and it's the one time of year I don't wish they were locked up someplace. The adults get a kick out of it too. Imagine I used to go to work like that too. Co-workers loved it and expected it every year.

I used to be in chorus as a kid and since then I've loved singing. So when I got a copy of Christmas Carols from my mother one year, I carried it everywhere so I could memorize those songs. I wore those papers out so bad I had to retype them up! My last year at the bookstore, I was offered a chance to go out carolling, sorta. We were making specific stops to our bosses' places. It was still fun.

Though gifts were never the most important thing, there were fun moments throughout the years. The year Josh was so anxious to open gifts, he and I were waiting out in a dark living room waiting for Mom to wake. And when that took too long, his constant attempts to quietly wake her. She gave in, a little, and let us each open a gift without her. The years I was able to surprise my Mom with a big or special gift that led to "how'd you hide this from me?" for the big gifts and "when'd you even go out shopping?" for the others. The year my brother gave me a laptop. I was in shock that year. First time since I was a kid that a gift actually surprised me. Everyone said I was looking at it like I didn't know what it was. I think it was disbelief. Last year was awesome too. I got me my Firefly and Farscape. But mostly it was nice, cuz we spent the morning at my Dad's. So it was just a nice casual little family moment.

Moving and Getting Settled

Much to the surprise of many it seems, we moved Friday after my last blog.... I thought I told people we were moving, but I guess I didn't say it right. Anywho....

Moving Day: November 4th

Time: 7:00a.m.

Movers: Uncle David, Nana, Mom, and yours truly

Misc.: We had a U-Haul moving truck, Mom's SUV, and 2 Dollys (one for big appliances and one for boxes and furniture)

Now admittedly we only had a one-bedroom apartment plus garage, no one thought we'd finish it all in one day. Mom and I had actually planned to come back on our own to finish the job of left over boxes. Miracle of miracles, we did it all in one day!!!! I have to say David was a moving wizard. I must remember to write him a HUGE thank you. We could not have done it without him. Nana packed ALOT that week and more that day. Mom helped with left over packing and moving lighter stuffs. And of course yours truly helped David with the heavier stuff. Moving from a one story apartment to a first floor apartment with the dolly hauling alot of the boxes helped BIG time.

Now it's ten days later and the place is really looking great. There's still a few boxes to put away and or unpack, but it is definitely livable now. We've got a kitchen table again! It'd been covered in boxes and or baking supplies for the past week and a half. Actually the stuff that is in boxes are movies and books, which will remain boxed until we get shelves for them... a couple boxes of party supplies, which will be reboxed and put away today or tomorrow... fragiles from the hutch, which couldn't get unpacked cuz boxes blocked the way til yesterday... and finally the knickknacks and various other decorative stuffs that obviously goes up last.

I've been VERY busy. Even got myself on a normal sleeping schedule! I know how horrifying. E-mail's been read. All is caught up in cyberspace. On the road to normal. I figure next week I'll probably start looking for work... Scary, huh? Anywho.. we're settled mostly, so come visit soon!

P.S. I packed the digi cam in a bag I knew I'd be able to find so's I could take before pictures, but forgot to pull it out. And yesterday Mom says we shoulda take before and after shots.. Le whoops!

Not Soon Enough....

Wow... This move couldn't come soon enough. Monday, I woke up tp NO water. That's right. Absolutely no running water anywhere. No flushing the toity, no washing the hands (thank GOD for Purell disinfectant stuff), no shower, nothing! Didn't get around to cooking, cuz ew no way was I gonna cook without a proper hand washing with y'know wet WATER! Didn't get to packing, cuz I was waiting to shower and busy calling the fucking moron we call the landlady. She forgot to pay the water bill.

We got water about 430-5pm. Okay, flushing and hand washing is good... Everythings hunkydory.... I'm irked and didn't get around to do the dishes until like 2-3am when what do I find out? There's no HOT water. Well, I dunno about you, I wash dishes in hot water. Mom's gotta get up in an hour to shower.... So I go outside in the wee hours to see if I cna turn up the water heater. No good. Lots of calling from a now awake Mom to the landlady's cell phone (which we got from the water company).

Obviously nothing could be done then. She showers in icy water cuz she's got no choice... I go to bed hoping there'll be hot water when I wake. Not the case. After a while of waiting for it to get fixed as promised I finally have to shower myself. Didn't even wash my hair so's not to stand in the cold water too long. Had to come out and thaw for a bit before even starting to pack or do stuff.

Hot water got turned on about 5pm. For our inconvenience, we were told to take off 25 dollars from our 825 rent. Ooooo... yeah, that'll make up for it. ~rolls eyes~ We get some bullshit excuse that she went away on business and neglected to pay it on time. BULLSHIT! They shut off crap after a couple warnings! And as I know she hasn't been out of town THAT long, that means that bitch and her asshole husband don't know what the fuck they are doing.

Needless to say as with now, last nght I was tired... physically and emotionally, that I stopped working. Why emotionally exhausted? Lotsa emotions. Excitement at the move, relief at finally found a place, anger/irritation at the current landowners, and just overall overwhelming feelings on account of all the packing and arrangements we're trying to make. I can't wait til next week. Yes, lots of unpacking... But we'll have moved our stuff. Utillities will have been set up. No more shit from landowners... Just time to breathe.

And wow, this update wan't meant to be nearly so long. Just a bit of venting I guess... Well It woke me up some. Had a long day of packing after not as much sleep (unscheduled help came over before even my alarm was to go off - no complaints on that tho!). Nana is a packing wizard.. or a speed demon for packing at any rate. ANYwho, lots got done today. Now lots more to do (labeling and more organizing of the boxes Nana packed.. she was too fast to keep up with). Not to mention a kitchen that still needs doing.

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Comment(s):

Awww... No worries... Things are gonna be okay. =)

Posted by Melissa Tian on 06 Nov 06 Monday - 8:50 AM

So much to do....

Okay. Moving day: this Friday. What does that mean for me? A WHOLE lot of work. Nah, I think I can manage it all. I'd like more space to work with, but meh. I mean last move we had a whole unused living room to toss the packed stuff... Here? Not the case... We'll literally have to navigate around boxes towards the end of the week.

Today, we picked up boxes. Yep, we actually bought boxes. Strange concept, ain't it? I'm glad. Cuz although I love Nana and it helped with her box collecting.... She picks 'em up from icky places. And the ones she found last time came with bugs. So yeah, we bought new boxes. Mom'll bring home boxes from work. We should be fine. We also picked up cleaning and bug killing products. Don't wanna move with the lil ants and spiders and things.

Lots to do and I'm sitting here.. Dumb huh? Well tonight the only things I gotta do are: clean the kitchen with some dish washing, thin out my closet of stuff I don't wear, and see what cable/phone companies I'll be calling tomorrow. Tomorrow's stuff? Call cable/phone companies. Clean out garage of junk, set up ant killers in kitchen, and ah the bug bomb thing for the garage needs to go off too. And then I'll start packing the easier non essentials, books, for starters.

Anywho... Why I feel like blogging my every move lately I dunno. But there it is. I'm still all excited. Think I'll go be productive now... or soonish.

MOVING!!!!

After what feels like FOREVER, we've finally found a place. Unbelieveable how difficult it is to find a one or two bedroom for two people and a cat that isn't ridiculously expensive. But we've done it. Signed a lease and everything. Move in date? ASAP.... Seriously. Mom told them the 1st. I don't think she realized how soon that was. We'll be calling back to adjust that.

We're 15-20 minutes away from where we want by car and I'm 60 to 90 minutes away froom friends or school by bus (TOTALLY doable). We'll have a dishwasher!!! SOOOO looking forward to not being the human dishwasher anymore. There's real carpetting and more cabinate and closet space. Wall AC, big windows, NICE apartment complex, gated community, assigned parking.... We'll be out of the ghetto we live in now and into a very nice area. I mean we don't have bars on the windows there!

It's only about 40-50 extra square footage, but it'll work. We're closer to my Dad and my brother. Always a good thing. There's things in walking distance. A definite plus for me. I could go on and on...

I feel a bit like a chicken whose lost it's head. There's so much I know we gotta do and yet I dunno where to start! I don't even remember the few things I took care of last time. I mean I remember but I don't remember how I did them. Thankfully, with just the two of us, it's less packing at least. Mmmm.. I should go through my closet tomorrow and get rid of stuff NOW.

Net stuffs too! Yes! Cuz I have no life and the stuffs and peoples I care about are online!

Oh, I'm sooooo glad I don't have to call anymore places. Ha! I did it! -I- found us an apartment!!! I was beginning to doubt I could! But I did it! ME!!!! Oh, thank God. Not another Christmas in this hell hole.... No more gun shots (like last night)... No more cops down the streets for more than just standard patrols (like earlier today)... No more CRAPPY manager/landlords!!!

Hurray for moving!!! I'll keep you posted for as long as I can. But I'm moving!!!!

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Comment(s):

YAY!! Praise God!!

Posted by Melissa Tian on 29 Oct 06 Sunday - 1:17 PM

Yep, that's what I said.. Actually I think it went like this... "Thank You, God, thank You, God.... Dear God, thank You..." And every so often throughout the day, I repeat it or something similar.

Posted by Relaya on 29 Oct 06 Sunday - 1:19 PM

hooray! congratulations!

Posted by Bizabob on 29 Oct 06 Sunday - 8:25 PM

Buggin' Me

I hate ants. I know, who doesn't. But before they were an outside problem I left behind when I walked in the front door. (Why do I say front door. We've only got one!) This property has always had fleas and or ants in the grass, flies when the gardening isn't tended to (which is almost always), and the odd spider or waterbug inside when new tennants moved in.

Well yippee skippy. The ants have found their way into MY kitchen. I hate washing dishes... Now I gotta wash them everyday and clean the kitchen thoroughly. I blame the neighbor's dog. He pees all over the grass and he's as big as a horse so that's ALOT... Ants retreat indoors when someone waters the lawn too much. Ugh... I gotta move.


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Comment(s):

Yeah your right who doesn't, but what I hate is when they bring their uncles who do nothing but get into all the food you have in your cubbards and let's not even mention their cousins who's main goal in life is to gnaw at your doorways and tasty looking furniture. But such is life wait to you see the adventurous waterbugs that like to make pop appearances in your sink by way of the drain. Now that is what you call an over acheiver. Well good luck and dare I say don't let the bed bugs bite.

Posted by Tony the Tazman on 22 Oct 06 Sunday - 11:15 PM

The Cat Lady

Did you ever have a cat lady in your neighborhood? Back in Anaheim, she had like a dozen or two cats who would come in and out of her place. A neighbor and friend of mine once looked after them when the Cat Lady had to go away. She said it was disgusting in ther. None of the cats were fixed and so they tended to spray their vile stuff over everything. Yeah, the Cat Lady was a woman we laughed at or shook our heads at. She lived alone with her cats.

I'm not laughing anymore. Mom and I are cat ladies. Like two old maid sisters out of a book living alone with our cats. We only have Oreo inside, but we feed the neighborhood outside. Two of them actually follow me and talk to me, or maybe that's yell at me for food.

At first, it was just neighbor's cats coming to visit Oreo. No big deal, right? Well those cats have moved on. Now its just the strays. The strays that look in at Oreo with their patheric little faces. Mom says, "awww, feed the babies, Carisa. They're so little." So I do, cuz lets face it, I can't stand to see those hungry little eyes anymore than she can.

Ya get to seeing regulars showing up. So now I've named them. Scrapper, he's a mini Oreo with a chewed up ear. Little Face, the beige and brown kitty with a brown mask over his face. He/She (they're all he/she's cuz I dun know the difference) started staring up at me whenever he saw me. Spot's a grey and white cat with a white, odd-shaped spot on his back. Little Face, Spot, and a smaller version of Little Face all run together. The tiny one I see not so often. I dunno where their mama went. Anyway. That's "the tribe" or "Oreo's Possey" depending on the day.

Chrissi said, you're not supposed to feed strays, but how can I not feed them? They're just little babies. And they squeak at me. I even started playing with Little Face and Spot (through the door of course) with a lil twist tie they try and catch. They're still too skiddish to let me touch them, but they'll dart around my legs when I come out with food. Scrapper gets so close he almost trips me.

So I've been adopted by the tribe.... I'm this neighborhood's Cat Lady. Yay me....

Can I Scream Now?

Warning: Long rant/venting ahead....

It was only going to be temporary. We needed a place fast and it was the first one to accept pets that we thought was nice.... Key word being thought. Two years later (actually 2yrs and a month but who's counting?), we now know different. We've had two owners, the recent of which has gone from landlording themselves to having a property management company doing it for them and back to landlording themeselves.

Whether it was Patrick or Angela, gardening around here's never been consistant so the once purdy grass lawns look like crap. Any repairs or maintenance required "pulling teeth", "arm twisting", or just plain withholding rent. The quiet neighborhood turned VERY quickly into hoodlum central. Prior to our moving in a family with a teenager or two moved nearby, bringing all his friends out to hang out right in front of our apartment.

Over the past two years, both Mom and I feel this place sucking the life out of us. If it wasn't frustration with dealing with the owners to get stuff down, it was the lack of safeness with the teenagers always hanging around. Depending on who was here (as teens have moved and new ones come in), there were pot smokers in our yard or under our window... tagging the building or the garages out back... and every few months someone gets shot. Cops come by regularly. But of course it's just a badge of honor to get pulled over.

This place is too small, too aggravating, and not safe at all.... And NOW the rent is going up. For this dump? No frelling way! The place is a trap and it's killing us. So we're desperately trying to move....

As if living in this shithole wasn't enough of a reason to want to scream... I HATE apartment hunting. "No pets!" "No parking." "Already rented out." Too expensive..... Moving from one ghetto to another... The endless calling.... And what's the matter with people? They want to rent out places but they NEVER pick up the damn phone? And come on! They can't get a f***ing answering machine or voicemail???

We've made it to the tour and application stage four times. We only submitted one application and we got turned down. That was a blow. But I think it hurt more because of how badly we want out.... The whole process is depressing. The more calls I make with "no"s at the end, the more frustrated I get. Every place we visit and kinda like but then find it isn't for us, the more I want to just scream.... Every number I call that doesn't even answer makes me want to through all the papers and my phone with it.

So this is depression.... Okay, I don't really know if it is or not. But I've gone from destructive moods of wanting to hurt someone or break something to totally depressed moods ending in tears. I've stopped caring about anything. I don't sleep at any regular schedule now... I throw myself full time online to escape the shithole and the frustration of trying to escape the shithole. I've fallen into a pit... I'm trying to climb out and I'm holding out hope that I can get out.... But I'm getting tired and may soon give in to just stay put. I'm almost at the point of saying f*** it, we'll live here til we can afford to leave.

I miss Anaheim. I REALLY miss Anaheim. I know Orange County. I feel safe there. I can get around there. I know how to be independent there without fear. Why oh why must it be so damned expensive to live there? Okay... I suppose I've babbled on long enough... Just needed to get some of it out of my system.

He Already Knows :)

10 Things GOD won't ask you when you get to heaven...

1. God won't ask what kind of car you drove, He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.

2. God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3. God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped clothe.

4. God won't ask what your highest salary was, He'll ask if you gave some to help others.

5. God won't ask what your job title was, He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6. God won't ask how many friends you had, He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7. God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8. God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about the content of your character.

9. God won't ask why it took you so long to seek salvation, He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven and not to the gates of Hell.

10. God won't have to ask how many people you forwarded this to. He already knows whether or not you are ashamed to share this information to whom you love.

Repost this if you believe in God.

God Bless!

Note: this was originally posted as a bulletin/forward... But being that I wanted all to be able to read if they so chose, I posted it as a public blog.

The Brick

Wow, I can't tell you how many times I've suggested to family, trying to drive fast and annoyed with "stupid" people slowing them down, that maybe those people were put there to slow the family member down.... Anywho, on with the little story:

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The Brick

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared.

Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic.

"Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop....." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

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Think about this:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in......

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

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Comment(s):

Hey quit taking my stuff but I am glad you liked it cause I did it was pretty good.

Posted by Tony the Tazman on 13 Aug 06 Sunday - 7:01 PM