Bad Bedside Manner

I don't have patience. Not sure if it's something that was always there or something that got worse over time. But here it is. I don't have patience for dealing with kids, with nagging relatives, with constant calls for help. It sounds terrible, I know it does. When I used to work at the bookstore, which I loved, I still had to ask God to help me deal with the lazier customers.

But man this week has been trying.... Mom's back went out last Friday. It wasn't super bad like in past years where she'd be out for weeks or even several days. But she worked the following day and so tweaked it even worse. She had to call out Monday as she tweaked it again Sunday. Tuesday she worked half day. Saturday and Wednesday her sup gave her early go which they do when work is light but she favored Mom knowing the sitch. So Basically, Mom spent most of the week in pain and I had to help her pick up stuff which for some reason she dropped A LOT this week AND take her grumpy attitude as she took the pain and turned it into a foul mood which I was the only one to receive.

I of course prayed for easing of her pain and tried to be helpful, but sometimes ya just get frustrated being called upon repeatedly for stupid or silly stuff over and over again. Or most annoying was her getting mad at me cuz I didn't cater to the kids the way she would have. Acting like I was starving them because I wouldn't give them the food or treats they preferred the seconded they wanted it rather than on the schedule I try to keep them on.

And then there's Dad. I love him but sometimes I just want to shake him and force him to do what he should do. His toe was hurting this week. Okay maybe he hurt it and forgot blah blah, we all do that. But when the pain didn't go away or wasn't in a spot that added up, I as usual suggested he go to a doctor. But as much as I love him, he is king of refusing to go to a doctor. Whether it's plain stubbornness or fear of what they'll tell him or annoyance with treatment in the past, he refuses to go. Joy. He's no spring chicken, but he's no old man either. I just wish he'd take care of himself so I can have him around longer rather than telling me he's afraid he's not gonna be around longer. "Well do something!!! Cuz I'm not ready to lose you and I'm running out of patience to ignore your refusals and complaints that ya won't do anything about anyway." Le sigh. I pray for him too.

I should be a good daughter and smile through it all. To help either without complaint and continue to be soothing... But that lack of patience seems to get worse and my bedside manner suffers. So if they ever read this, I'm sorry in advance.

Seriously, if neither of them is going to get better or do something about getting better, then I pray our Lord returns soon before I lose either of them or they get so bad they need constant care and suffer at my hands for it. Le sigh.