I went to Disneyland twice last month! Woohoo... Twice in one week period too (if I recall right). The weekend trip was so packed that we just had to come back on another day. The beginnings of Christmas were already up, and this was early in the month. I took a few shots of the decorations and lights and the restaurant we went to with my cell phone. It was beautiful. :-D And I resisted the urge to bring home another Mickey, though no promises next time!
Last month there was a bit of sad news. My cousin passed away. Dad and I ran into him fairly recently (well recently at the time), prior to that I don’t really recall him from my childhood. His youngest brother and I are the same age, so I vaguely remember playing with him. But it was sad because it made us think of our own loss which still feels pretty recent. He was 40 years old and he left a family behind. Without knowing who it was, I sat behind his eldest son at the services, a teenager I think. My heart ached to see him taking it so hard. Thankfully, it wasn’t entirely a day of sadness. After services there was a sort of potluck at my aunt’s church. So I got to meet or re-meet some of my family. It was nice to see them and hear some of the stories I missed out on.
And then there was Thanksgiving. Nana tried to rope into having a real Thanksgiving dinner. She asked at first if Mom would cook the ham for her. Okay, sure, fine. But Wednesday she dropped off like a whole bunch of stuff. Store bought yams to throw in the oven, mash potatoes she’d made already, easy to make rolls in those tubes, frozen veggies, a pecan pie, and of course the ham and fixings for it. Mom asked if Nana had thought she was making the whole meal! Okay, sure, fine. Everything but the veggies (cuz we forgot) got cooked. Mom got a call from Nana on the day asking if we’d tasted the pie yet (traditionally holiday visits at Nana’s started with sneaking bites of the pie before other family arrived). We hadn’t for whatever reason. They fought cuz Nana I guess thought she was going to eat dinner here or something and Mom wasn’t in a celebratory mood. >.< I really wish she’d get out of this perma-funk she’s in. And before anyone thinks I’m insensitive, she’s been anti-anything since we moved here, so it’s not just well you know. She asked me if she was in the wrong. And I told her, it’d be one thing if she visited Nana any other day or at all really, but she never wants to do anything. I wish she’d remember while she has lost over the years (her dad, Josh, and a favorite aunt), she still does have family who love her and reasons to be thankful.
I’ve been watching Christmas movies pretty much since the week of Thanksgiving. One of the movies I saw was about this family that lost their son in the Gulf War and found out on Christmas Eve. The mother I guess vowed never to celebrate the holiday anymore as a memorial to her son or something. The father agreed but I guess he didn’t think she’d keep to it for as long. The movie took place 12 years after. The sad part is, they had a daughter who was eight at the time. So she grew up without that holiday. She even thought it was because they loved her brother more than her. And because at 20 she was being tested for cancer she also thought she didn’t deserve to be happy. For shame on them for being so blinded by their grief to neglect her like that. Not that she was really neglected, but making her miss out like that clearly affected her. It was sad to see.
I’m an adult now, so I don’t take Mom’s shut down quite so hard. But it does bug me that she can’t see what she still has. We moved here to be close to her mom so she wouldn’t miss out like she did with her dad who was four hours away. But since moving here she never wants to do anything with Nana. All the time she missed out on spending with family because she was in the funk (not as severe as now) after Tata died. And now it’s just that much worse. I told her I am decorating sometime this weekend (probably not ‘til the week) and I almost saw her wince. I know she’s not ready to celebrate, but I don’t want to help her hide from it all.
I started doing the Christmas cards this week, well at least the ones going out of the country and even them I didn’t get out ‘til the end of this week. Le whoops? Sometime this week I have to brave Mom and ask for Uncle David’s address. She’s still not forgiven him for not being around then. He wrote her a letter since she never answers his calls or allows him to stop by. She was trying to write him back but I think she gave up. I pray she tries again. She was always closer to David than my Uncle Alex. They’ve drifted apart as happens with growing up but they still remained close until then. Now, it’s like she doesn’t want anything to do with him. I’m tempted to tell her “I lost my brother and now I can never talk to him, don’t lose yours.”
Anyway… That’s last month’s fun and headaches combined. There’s more I’m sure but I’ve forgotten and it’s late. Here’s to hoping I don’t drop off again… Now for Pics:
==Some old car Dad and I saw in the parking lot. :-P
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