Babbling

Okay... So life here is going to be different.... Mom's going to be working from home now. I'm happy for her. Less driving and no stress from ucky supervisor.... But I kinda like having the place to myself sometimes. Not that I don't love my Mom and love spending time with her... But you know, I just like a few hours all to myself....

I think I'm going to start seriously working towards a goal though. Get job.... Work on fixing my credit mess..... Save money..... Move out.... I'll be 29 this April, so maybe by the time I'm 30?

Never thought about living on my own until this past year. Never felt motivated... never had a pressing need.... I get along with Mom and we like spending time together... But it'll be nice to live on my own... To set up everything the way -I- want it. To clean up after only me (and cats).

Started making mental plans. Like thinking about saving money for furniture that I'd need and dishes and things. I have bedroom furniture, so there's something I won't have to buy...

I just need to get unstuck.... I've been living in this comfort zone since we left Anaheim. In Long Beach I was too scared to leave. I mean we lived not far from Prostitute Lane and just houses down, kids got shot at.... Part of me had this, it's only temporary mentality. We'll move and I can start my real life.... But all that ended up happening was me getting more and more stuck into this bum life. Oh I help with rent a little and I cook and clean... But I could and need to do more.... So we moved to safer Norwalk.... But I'm stuck... I'm tired of being stuck... I don't even know why I can't get out of this. I -should- be motivated to do stuff. Maybe with this new "move out" goal. I actually miss work... Even at my old crappy bookstore job. I almost don't even care what I do. With Mom home 24/7, I think I'll finally be motivated to get up and do stuff. Here's praying anyway....